the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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