i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Too much gin, very little bucket
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
