D3 body, D1 cock
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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