Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
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It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
