You really coming over, don't trick.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize