I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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