Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
