Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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