i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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