When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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