Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
