im drinking this country out of the recession.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's the barista slut.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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