people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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