I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
