New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
