I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I look better un-naked...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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