first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
