at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
