It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
