I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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