Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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