Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
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I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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