I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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