some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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