absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
