insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
