3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize