shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
