so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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