I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
