just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
