Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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