Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
