I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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