Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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