what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
