I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The air was thick with penises
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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