your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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