this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
