I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
