Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
