Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
