We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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