chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize