All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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