Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
