he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
