i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
