Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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