I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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