You smell like a Billy Joel song
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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