Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
