I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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