Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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