I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
