wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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