Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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