I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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