omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
