Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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