just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
