we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
