just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
