i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
