So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize