A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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