I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
